Am i ready to be a mom?! Please read and help?

Because of your rambling, I can barely understand the back story here. Based on this message, if I knew you personally, I'd say HECK NO, you are not ready for a baby. Plus, if you have to ask random strangers if you are ready to have a baby, I'd have to guess the answer is once again NO. I truly hope for the sake of your future children that you wait and grow up a little and find confidence and comfort in yourself before you even think about raising a child.