Please read this. i serously need someone to just tell me what to do?

So my lifes preetty f***d up. My brother and my mom both have cancer, my brother lukemia and my mom kolan.my mom just left 8 days ago, she left a not eon the table for my grandma saying that shes a terrible mom and wants to kill herseld, i havent talked to her sincee. one of my bestfriends just got hit by a car and died last week. im addicted to smoking and me and my boyfriend are having . keep in mind im not even in high school yet. my dads an alcoholic and just got in an accident on his motorcycle and is now in the hospitaale not remmebering who i am, & he has his legs chopped off to his knees. Im concidered the popular girl at school that has no problems at all. Honestly can someone just tell me what to do